Was that the mailman?
I was driving to my parents’ house when I saw who I thought was the mailman crossing the street. He was walking with another man – presumably from the neighborhood – and he looked suspicious. Perhaps suspicious isn’t the right word, but what do you say when the mailman isn’t in uniform and is chatting it up with a stranger? To be fair, he had on his mailman pants (quite a feat, given that it was 110), but he didn’t have on his mailman shirt. He wasn’t topless and perhaps his t-shirt was officially endorsed by the USPS, but I didn’t get a good look at it. Both men were walking toward the mail truck, and I have to say I was relieved to see it there. But then how was I to know this whole thing wasn’t a charade?
I’m not saying I believe the mail guy was a fraud who was conspiring with that other man to rifle through everyone’s mail. I’m a storyteller, so I like to make things up about people. But this incident did get me thinking about uniforms. One little outfit gives me the comfortable impression that the mailman wasn’t out committing a federal crime. Which makes ask – Would I feel the same way about the KFC girl? Or the McDonald’s guy? Why anyone would want to pretend to work at these fine establishments is beyond me, but a practical joker has no limitations.
I’m not going to get into the social psychology of uniforms, but the next time you see someone in said outfit you might want to ask for some ID. Also, know that there are only two possible answers to: Do you really work at McDonald’s? These are:
- Yes, don’t judge, or I’ll spit in your Big Mac.
- Yes, but the zombies made me do it.
Note that “yes, because I really love to help you” is not one of the acceptable answers. These people are frauds. They steal your mail.
