How are you?
When a therapist asks how you’re doing, I consider that a loaded question. I mean, does the session begin when the therapist greets you in the hallway? Or is it really small talk (because sometimes a cigar is just a cigar)? What happens if I answer wrong? If I say “just okay” will I be labeled a failure, someone unresponsive to treatment? Worse, if I fake happiness (think: overly enthusiastic “just fine!”) will I be accused of not taking my treatment seriously?
I’m a bit OCD so perhaps I’ve thought about this a teensy bit too much.
Judging by my posts, it should also be obvious that I’m socially inept. Small talk confounds me. When anyone asks me how I’m doing (therapist or plumber) I feel like I have to answer honestly. But they don’t really care about my answer because just as soon as they finish the question they’re already walking the other way. I don’t do drive by hi.
Responding to emails is also confusing. People send me messages belonging in that gray area I call “do I need to freaking write back?” There were no direct questions to me. Of course, it’s implied that the sender wants feedback (or attention). Or do they? Sometimes they’ll tell me to say hi to someone – generally someone I know. Do I write back and say “sure thing”? And then when I do say hi do I write again saying “they say hi back”? I sometimes harbor guilt when I don’t pass the hi forward. But really, isn’t that just something you say? “Say hi” translates to “I’m pretending to care about your (friend, family, pet, porcupine or giraffe) but I don’t want to go to any great lengths to prove this.”
I think I need therapy. And how are you?
